


Try As I Absolutely, Totally Might

by SQ_Scrawls



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Depression, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Kinda, fatigue, platonic anxceit - Freeform, roman using logical fallacies to be a dick
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-12 04:49:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29504388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SQ_Scrawls/pseuds/SQ_Scrawls
Summary: Janus had lazy spells every now and then, when he was overworked or stressed or whatnot. Taking a few days off every now and then was self care, though, was it not?Whether or not Janus took the days off because he was too numb or generally exhausted to function was besides the point.The fact that the light sides had finally decided to take an interest in his well-being, however, was very much relevant
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders
Comments: 2
Kudos: 46





	Try As I Absolutely, Totally Might

Janus was more than used to being pushed into the shadows, to being dismissed and demonetized at every turn. Ever since he’d been shoved away from the places he would have any conscious influence over Thomas and left to rot in the shadows.

It wasn’t too bad, though. ( ~~That was a lie, he could taste it~~ )

At least Virgil and Remus had been there.

The deceitful side had found solace in their presence. They were responsibilities that would force him to pull himself out of bed in the morning, companions that would listen to him ramble on and on about the last book he had read, steady presences that drew him out of his own thoughts.

There was a peace of some sort in that dynamic. A shaking, unsteady, uncalm peace, but peace nonetheless.

That had all changed when Virgil had left, disappearing abruptly without a word. ( ~~That was a lie, he and Janus had gotten into an argument first. It was Deceit’s fault Virgil had left, he couldn’t deny that truth.~~ )

The dark side’s balance had been thrown off ever since, Remus not enough of a buffer to Janus’ own self.

Janus couldn’t blame him, though. 

It was one of Janus’ lethargic days, when he couldn’t manage to pry himself from the warmth of his bed. One in a streak that had lasted almost all week. He hadn’t heard anything from Remus all day. Or all of yesterday, either. 

Janus couldn’t find it in himself to worry about the kind of havoc an unaccounted for creativity might wreak. 

He was far too tired, far too preoccupied with the bone-deep weariness, with the dull pain that laced his body every time he shifted, with the cold that had started to deep into his bones. 

He could hear some activity from outside of his room, muffled noises that might’ve been Remus talking. Janus didn’t bother to get up and go see what was happening, just groaned and pulled the blankets over his head to try and block it out.

The sounds stopped, lulling Janus into a false sense of security right up until the short, evenly timed raps of his door.

“I’d like to speak with you, Janus,” Logan called through the door. “May I come in?”

Janus sighed, pulling the blanket off of his head so he could shout back an “I’m _totally_ not busy.”

“It will only take a moment,” came the reply, voice even despite Janus’ snippish tone.

Deceit didn’t deign to answer the other side, instead throwing the blankets back over his head with a huff.”

He ventured out of the comfort of his room only once that day, when his stomach started nagging him more than he could stand to ignore. Even then, Janus retreated back to his chambers almost immediately, his scavenged supplies clutched to his chest.

It wasn’t until the next day that Janus’ peace was interrupted a second time.

Janus was curled up in his blankets, idly running a finger over the scales on his face—he didn’t have the energy to do much else—when he felt a soft tug, trying to pull him from his bed.

Deceit was being summoned.

Normally he would’ve felt some smug sense of satisfaction at the other side _finally_ recognizing that he could contribute something to the conversation, but now he was just too numb to care, dismissing the pull. Janus was staying put today, _thank you very much._

The tug came again a few moments later, more insistent this time. 

Janus scowled, glaring up at his ceiling. He didn’t want to get up, even if Thomas probably needed him. He teetered on the edge of a decision for a second, torn between his function and the fatigue that sank into every inch of him.

The decision was made for him when he was yanked once more, the strength of the summons pulling him right out of bed.

Alright then.

Janus hurried to make himself presentable—changing into his usual attire with a snap of his fingers. His scales were dull, his hair greasy. Nothing the others would notice, as long as he hid his unkempt locks under his hat.

Where was his hat?

Deceit’s eyes skipped around the room, searching frantically. He could be pulled up there at any moment, against his will, with how strong the summons were getting, and it simply _wouldn’t do_ to be so unsightly when he was—

There!

He stooped, scooping the bowler hat out from under his bed, quickly dusting it off.

There was another tug, and Janus was barely able to stuff the hat on before he was in the living room, five identical sets of eyes staring straight at him. 

Ah.

Janus straightened, adjusting his capulet and doing his best to look disinterested. Especially in Logan, who’s space he was now partially taking up. “And to what do I owe this pleasant surprise? Have you all finally realized that I _actually_ have something helpful to contribute?”

Roman scoffed. “Like anything you say could be _helpful_ , you fiendish reptile.”

“Now, Roman,” Patton scolded, shooting him a look. “We just wanted to check in on you, Janus. We haven’t seen you around for a few days, and you didn’t talk to Logan when he stopped by to check on you.”

Deceit sent Logic a sideways glance. “Is that so.”

“Listen,  _ Deceit _ ,” Roman butted in, voice dripping with venom. “We know you’re plotting something. Why else would you stay holed up for so long? You’re _scheming_ , and we’re going to stop whatever nefarious plan you’re brewing right in its tracks.”

Janus nodded slowly, eyes wide in mock interest. “Oh, is that _so_? I bet you have an absolute _array_ of evidence about whatever I’m scheming, hm? Virgil, you’re the _master_ of far fetched theories, are you not? Care to speculate on what I’m _totally_ planning to do to ruin Thomas’ life?”

Virgil’s mouth was pressed into a thin line, and he was looking at Deceit. Staring at him. Janus felt his scales crawl with the feeling of being _seen_. 

He looked away quickly. 

Patton was scolding Roman again. Janus couldn’t find it in himself to care enough to listen. 

He straightened his capulet, fidgeting with his gloves. Tried to ignore the way Virgil and Logan’s eyes settled on him.

Logan cleared his throat. “Janus, are you quite alright? You look unwell.” 

Everyone was looking at him again. 

“Yes,” Janus hissed. God, he was so tired. “Now, if there was anything else you wanted me for besides _baseless accusations_ , I _totally_ don’t have things I need to do.”

Roman bristled, opening his mouth to say something before Patton cut him off. “Janus, we were just worried about you. You’re sure you’re doing alright?”

“Why the sudden concern, Patton? I was under the impression that you despised me.” He dug his fingers into the inside of his capulet, trying not to shiver. It had been so much warmer under his blankets.

Morality bit his lip, looking guilty. “Well, I… uh…”

“If I may,” Logan interjected. “Thomas has been displaying a decreased desire to lie, even when it benefits him to a great extent—”

“So you’re mad at me for not doing my job after continuously saying Thomas would be better without me, is that it?” Janus deadpanned, giving Logan a flat look. He was so, so very _tired_.

Logan adjusted his glasses, frowning slightly. “Thomas has also been much less inclined to care for his own health, something that, due to your insistance on that matter, we attributed to being part of your purpose. Therefore the logical conclusion is that, since Thomas was struggling in aspects related to you, there must be something wrong on your part.”

Janus glanced between everyone, frowning slightly. He couldn’t think of a response ( ~~he was tired he was so so tired god please let him go back to bed~~ ) beyond simply dismissing himself.

“De—Janus?”

He glanced to his right, to where Virgil was standing in front of the stairs. The other side’s eyes were scanning Janus’ face. The concern was obvious, barely covered with shaky anxiety.

Their eyes met, and Virgil’s widened, barely noticeable. 

“Could we just do this later?” Virgil asked, his harsh tone obviously faked. The aggression tasted of lies. 

He sent Roman a glare when he opened his mouth to protest. Patton looked too guilty to object. Logan gave a solemn nod.

Janus almost sighed with relief, immediately sinking out into the comfort of his own room, discarding his hat on the side table as to not crush it when he collapsed onto his bed.

He would be fine in a few days, he could be more adamant about his job starting tomorrow. It seemed there would be no more off days with the lights much more concerned with his existence. Not that this had ever been a concern before.

Deceit’s door creaked open, and he lazily lifted his head, tired demand for Remus to leave him alone ready on his tongue.

It wasn’t the wide, bloodshot eyes of the Duke that appeared in the half-opened doorway.

It was Virgil’s. 


End file.
